Admitting Feelings
by BewilderedFemale
Summary: Find out what it takes to make Colin and Mary realize that what they share is more than just friendship. Colin/Mary Pairing


**This takes place after the book. It's a Colin/Mary pairing as I was recently inspired from re-reading the book. Rated T as it has some strong adult situations towards the end**.

Many Spring's had come and gone after the happy union with Colin and his father. They finally had the chance to build a healthy relationship. There were times where they would travel to far and away places Mary had never seen before such as other parts of England, and even Scotland, and Ireland. The roads were so vast and beholding such a scenery that Colin and Mary would sit in the corner of the carriage and talk away in their own private universe.

Mr. Craven would watch from the opposite end. They were so much like himself and his beloved when she was alive. Sometimes at Misselthwaite when Mary wasn't around, Colin's round grey eyes held a look of discomfited until Mary appeared and then the spark would return.  
>Some would say that it was unnatural to cling to a person as such, that he was headed down the same path as his father and that if anything ever happened to Mary, he too would shut himself off and fall into despair much as he had.<br>He knew that there was probably some truth to that but despite this he was glad that they had been able to find each other, and even though they were just eighteen now, he couldn't help but wonder how long before they realized what really existed between them. This got him thinking and a smirk curved up his lips as he began to formulate a plan, yes; it was time that they became acquainted with others within society.

When they had returned back to Misselthwaite, Mr. Craven rang the bell for Mrs. Medlock immediately. Once she was in he turned away from the fireplace and stood up.  
>"Is the door shut behind you?"<p>

Mrs. Medlock blinked hard a few times and turned around to make sure it was so.

"Yes your lordship, what is it that you require?"

"I want you to organize a dinner party."

Mrs. Medlock had to steady herself with the sudden news. There were never any parties at Misselthwaite since Mrs Craven passed, and even though things had gotten significantly better; the Craven family did not 'party' as he so put it.

"But.. uh.. of course, and uh, what did you specifically have in mind sir?"

Mr. Craven thought for a moment and turned towards the fire. "I want young people of Colin and Mary's age to attend, they may bring with them a chaperone if they like, no more than twenty people. I think it's time that Mary and Colin immerse themselves with others their own age."

Her eyes went wide and a smile crept up her lips. "That is brilliant Sir! I'm sure they will be very pleased to hear the news, I'll go speak with Martha and get started on the planning right away! Was there anything else sir? A particular date you had in mind?"

"One week from Saturday, make out the invitations for late in the evening."

"As you wish your Lordship." Said Mrs. Medlock before she turned around and left the room.

OoOoOoOo

Mary and Colin were walking in the garden going over what Mrs. Medlock had told them that afternoon.  
>Mary had a flower in her hand and was plucking the silky petals off of it while the news was settling in her mind.<p>

"What do you think?" Colin asked after a time.

"I'm not sure. I'm sure of you, your father, and others here, they know me and like me but these will be strangers and I'm not quite sure if they will like me or if I will like them."  
>Colin nodded as she said this.<p>

"I feel the same way, I'm not sure what brought this on but if for any reason we should feel uncomfortable we can make them leave."

"Colin!" Mary exclaimed but was laughing at the same time having pictured him kicking out a bunch of strangers. "That would show the world how cross and disagreeable you are. Besides this was planned by your father, we should be on our best behavior."

He laughed and looked at her, admiring her features as he always did. He knew every curve and every dimple by heart. She was the only one capable of taming his character, she always knew exactly what to say.

"Yes I suppose, but I don't like it!"

"If things get too out of hand, we can just sneak out and come here until they leave."  
>His eyes lit up at that and he nodded. "Agreed."<p>

"In the meantime, this can serve as a perfect excuse to have your father take us out to town and buy some clothes and accessories."

Colin was smirking at her as he grabbed a flower and began pulling the petals out himself. "You will make any excuse to go shopping wont you."

She winked and laughed. "You know me so well Colin."

The very next day, Mary and Colin were dressed and ready to go into town when Mr. Craven informed them that he wasn't feeling up to going to town.  
>"Have Mrs. Medlock accompany you but I will not be able to go." He had said.<p>

When they left his room, both Mary and Colin looked at each other as if both being able to read each other's minds. It was Mary who spoke up first though. "Should we tell her?"

"We shouldn't, she's far too busy." He replied. "Besides, we are cousins and nobody will think twice about it."

"Yes I agree" Chimed in Mary.

"Well that's settled then." Colin said as he gently took hold of her arm and led the way to the front of the house.

Little did they know that Mr. Craven had been listening at the door, a smile upon his face.

OoOoOoOoO

They had been in town for a few hours now, Mary so far had purchased three parcel's worth of items while Colin had only gotten a new pair of shoes.

"I hate to tear you away from your most beloved activity but I'm getting quite hungry." Colin whispered in her ear.

"Say no more Colin, the shopping has worked up an appetite for me too, shall we stop in the tea room across from Breton's?"

"Good choice, they have French sweets there."

The bell on the door gave a loud ring when they went inside, making a woman who was waiting to be seated turn around. She had silky blonde hair, and was very pale with bright blue eyes. She was wearing a dress that matched the color of her eyes. In short, she was a beauty, and for reasons Mary could not understand or begin to explain, she felt as if she immediately did not like this girl. She seemed to be around their age and gave Colin a bright smile while completely ignoring her.

"Mr. Colin Craven?" She asked in a sickly-sweet voice.

"My name is Anne Whetherington. I've been invited to attend your dinner party next Saturday. Thank you Mr. Craven, for thinking of me and my dear Mama."

Colin gave her a nod and pulled Mary closer. "This is my cousin Mary Lennox, she will be with me at the dinner party."

Miss Whetherington gave her a nod and a weak smile. "Pleasure to meet you." She said dryly.  
>While Mary gave a smirky smile in response. "The pleasure is mine I assure you."<p>

"We really must be on our way." Colin said suddenly, It seems we've lost track of them time. Until Saturday Miss Whetherington, it was nice to meet you."

"It was my honor Sir" She replied as she made a little curtsey in the process.

They exited the tea room in haste, both not saying anything at first, but then Colin finally spoke. "I hope you're not disappointed."

"In?" Mary asked.

"That we left, but for some reason I felt like we needed to leave."

"It's quite alright, I had no desire to stay there either. I don't like how she was looking at you."

"How was she looking at me Mary?" He asked honestly.

"Like she wanted you." She replied bitterly.

"Too bad for her, she cannot have me. Ah, here we are. How does dining at the bistro sound?"

"Are there any young women there?"

"Not that I can see." He replied.

"lovely, let's go in."

Mary was strangely quiet as they ate. What had occurred earlier kept replaying in her mind, and while Colin had not paid the young woman any attention, what was to say that it wouldn't happen again and he actually respond the next time? Especially with this 'party' coming up at Misselthwaite manor. She never before had to think of the possibility of not living alongside Colin, and seeing as how things could change scared and angered her at the same time.

"What's wrong?"

Mary's head shot up and she saw Colin's round grey eyes looking at her in a confused manner.

"Nothing really, I was just thinking."

"The only time you look that way is when you're cross about something, and unless there is something I did that I'm not aware of, there's something troubling you."

Of course there was, but how could she possibly tell him? Could she really risk putting her feelings on the line only to have him come back and say some dreaded thing like: "We're only cousins Mary, we can't feel that way about each other."  
>It's true that back when they were young he had expressed a wish to get married in the future, but that seemed like such a long time ago, and they were just children then. Besides, he had never made any mention of it as of late so it was probably better to leave things as is.<p>

"I think I want to go home is all." She said finally.

He still wasn't convinced but he nodded and got up from his chair. "Well leave then, I already got what I wanted anyway."

OoOoOoOoOoO

That night it was only Mr. Craven and Colin seated at the table for dinner. Mary was not feeling well and remained up stairs. Colin had thought about skipping dinner too and going upstairs to make sure she was alright but then thought maybe she needed some time to herself as she sometimes did.

Mr. Craven was observing his son, seeing that lost look in his eyes, knowing that he was thinking of Mary, and wondering what had happened on their outing.

"So, was your trip into town successful?" Mr. Craven asked.

Colin snapped out of his haze and abruptly dunked his spoon into his soup. "Oh! Yes, I would say so. We ran into an Anne Whetherington, says she was invited to the dinner party on Saturday."

Mr. Craven smirked, having figured out what was the cause of Mary's distress.

"She is a lovely creature is she not?"

Colin blinked a few times and looked over at his father with distaste. "Who is father?"

"Why Anne Whetherington! And she comes from a rather good family, yes she would make a fine wife for you son."

"What?" exclaimed Colin suddenly, not believing what his father was telling him.

"Son, why do you think I planned this? It certainly is not for my benefit! You and Mary have come of age! It's time that you all begin to meet other people and start thinking about choosing your marriage partner! You do not think that I will live forever do you? And who will carry on the Craven name?"

"B.. but.. I.." Colin stammered being caught totally off guard.

"I've also invited a Mr. Elliot to join us. I think he will suit Mary fine. He has mysterious grey eyes much like your own, is tall and dashing, it is rumored that he too is looking for a wife so if my hopes in this matter are met; it wont be long before the two of you find life companions. Wont that be splendid?"

Colin looked like he was going to be sick. His face took on a white, pasty look, all color drained.  
>He then suddenly got up out of his chair and in a low voice said: "Excuse me father, I'm suddenly not feeling well."<p>

Mr. Craven watched his son go, a defeated look on his face. He had to do it, it was the only way to make them see, to make them realize what was in front of them, hopefully they would act soon.

OoOoOoOoO

The day of the party arrived and Colin and Mary had barely spoken to each other. They both looked equally miserable as they stood by the entrance of the manor getting ready to recieve their guests. The first one to arrive had been Anne Whetherington who quickly took hold of Colin's arm and forced him to give her a tour of the manor. They were about to break away from everyone else when Mr. Elliot arrived and was he ever a sight to behold!

He was much taller than Colin, his dark hair was brightened by his crystal grey eyes. His skin was pale but held a blush that was very becoming on him. He was being introduced to Mary who in turn had a blush upon her cheeks as he lifted her hand and gave it a gentle kiss.

Colin stopped walking when he saw this, having felt like all the air had been punched out of him. He didn't know how many seconds or minutes had gone by when Anne Whetherington snapped him out of his stupor. "Colin, are you alright? Are you not going to give me a tour?"

"I.. uh.. Do you mind if we wait a bit? I want to greet the rest of our guests." He didn't wait for her answer but walked quickly over to where Mary and Mr. Elliot stood.

"Aren't you going to introduce me Mary?" He said rather harshly.

Mary gave him a confused look but immediately did as she was told. "Mr. Elliot, this is my cousin Colin Craven."

Mr. Elliot was about to speak but Colin cut in. "Yes, yes, a pleasure I'm sure. Will you excuse us?" He then turned back to Mary, taking hold of her arm in the process and leading her outside. "We have to go, there is something urgent I must speak to you about."  
>"But.. They've only just arrived."<p>

"I DON'T CARE!" He said harshly. He caught himself and immediately began to apologize. "I'm sorry Mary, its just that.. I need to get out of here."

If Mary were to admit it to herself, she was rather relieved, not fully understanding why she felt tingles all over her body as they made their way to the garden. They have been this way thousands of times on their own, it was only Colin after all, but for some reason she couldn't explain; this time felt different. Very different.

After they got past the door and made their way to the entrance of the many rows of rose bushes, Colin ran his shaky hands through his hair before facing her.  
>"Mary…" He said as he grabbed her hands in his and kissed them gently. He then looked deep into her eyes and he was totally and completely lost.<p>

In them he saw something he had never seen before, something that made his stomach flip and his heart race. Something that made him feel like he was burning and the only solution to his symptoms was to capture her lips with his.

The sensation was unlike anything Colin Craven had ever felt. It was all the wonderful things in the world; The scent of roses, freshly turned up earth, reading picture books, and eating French pastries all rolled into one. No, it was better; for he felt desires stir in him that he had never felt before.

They broke apart for breath and continued kissing. Oh he could definitely get use to this, she was so sweet and desirable, he could kiss her all day. Instinct began to kick in when Colin opened his mouth slightly, he felt Mary do the same and it wasn't long before their tongues were intertwining with one another. Embracing as if they had been seeking each other for years and were finally one.

When they broke apart again, both were panting, clutching on to one another for dear life. They both felt the urge to do something more, yet neither wanting to overstep their boundaries.

"Mary I.." Colin finally said as he was trying to catch his breath.

"You know I love you Mary, I will always love you, do you love me Mary?"

Mary lifted her hands so that they were cupping his face and she looked at him in the eyes and smiled. "You know I do Colin, I always have."

"Will you Marry me Mary? Will you accept to be my wife?"

Mary's response was to throw herself at him and kiss him repeatedly, answering in between kisses. "Of course I will! I thought you'd never ask me!"

He looked at her with a smirk. "What do you mean you thought I'd never ask, I told you since we were ten that I wanted to Marry you. I was just afraid to ask you for fear that you might not feel the same."

"No Colin, I do.. I want to." She wrapped her arms around him then, and they held each other for a while.

"There will only be you in my life, nobody else, you're all I see Mary, you're all I think about night and day. There will never be anyone else for me."

Being in such close proximity to Mary and finally getting all of his feelings out in the open was doing things to him, and he felt himself blushing due to a curious reaction his body was having and he pulled away from her slightly.

"I think we should go inside to tell Father and our guests, what do you think?"

"I think Ms. Whetherington is going to be very disappointed."

"She'll get over it, maybe Mr. Elliot can console her."

They held hands as they walked back into the manor. When they walked in, everyone was already in the dining room having dinner and Mr. Craven upon seeing them got up from his seat.

"Colin, Mary, where have you been? We were worried!"

"Father!" Colin said beaming as he continued to hold Mary's hand. "I have an announcement to make; Mary and I are getting married!"

Mr. Craven gave a genuine smile and raised his glass towards them. "Congratulations to both of you, and it's about time!"


End file.
